Of course you’re creative. But if you’re1 your creative wheels haven’t turned in a while, the axles may be a little rusty. If so, try some virtual WD-40: a web page titled Cure Writer’s Block!, full of toys, techniques, and tools to get your wheels turning. (Hat tip to Matt Homann.)
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1 No idea how that faux pas happened.
Courtesy of Jerry Buchmeyer, via SW Va. Law Blog, here is the entire text of a brief in opposition to “motion to reinstate a ‘truly frivolous wrongful termination suit’ that the defendant had won in a jury trial”:
Brief in Opposition to Plaintiff's Motion for Reinstatement
Plaintiff has got to be kidding.
Respectfully submitted,
Simpson & Moran
By Donald A. Van Sullehem
Attorneys for Defendant
Birmingham, Mich.
“From fresh-faced interns to top management, everyone drops one of these gems occasionally. We can only hope that you're not here to actually add these buzzwords to your vocabulary.”
I have to admit, though, that I kind of like “warm bowl of nothing.” (Hat tip to the [non]billable hour.)
For canon lawyers everywhere, Dr. Ed Peters presents his "solaranite-powered guide to the footnotes of the 1917 Code" of Canon Law. It's everything you need to know to interpret canon-law citations, according to a Plan 9 From Outer Space theme. (Hat tip to dotCommonweal.)
The Plain English Campaign has announced the winners of this year's Golden Bull Award, given for "the worst examples of written tripe." As you might expect, finalists include some attempts at legal writing:
(Hat tip to Bad Language.)
What will we see when the instant-messaging generation starts writing briefs? Roger Hughes has a few ideas. (Hat tip to Law Dawg Blawg.)
Which lyricist is most often cited in law-review articles and judicial opinions? No surprise: it's Bob Dylan. That's just one of the observations made by Alex B. Long in his article, [Insert Song Lyrics Here]: The Uses and Misuses of Popular Music Lyrics in Legal Writing. To see his Top 10 list, click here.
His article is about more than just who's the most cited lyricist. Here's the abstract:
Legal writers frequently utilize the lyrics of popular music artists to help advance a particular theme or argument in legal writing. And if the music we listen to says something about us as individuals, then the music we, the legal profession as a whole, write about may something about who we are as a profession. A study of citations to popular artists in law journals reveals that, not surprisingly, Bob Dylan is the most popular artist in legal scholarship. The list of names of the other artists rounding out the Top Ten essentially reads like a Who’s Who of baby boomer favorites. Often, attorneys use the lyrics of popular music in fairly predictable ways in their writing, sometimes with adverse impact on the persuasiveness of the argument they are advancing. However, if one digs deeper, one can find numerous instances in which legal writers incorporate the lyrics of popular music into their writing in more creative ways.
(Hat tips to TaxProf Blog and A List of Things Thrown 5 Minutes Ago.)
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p.s. (9/21/06): If you'd like to spice up your own legal writing with Bob Dylan lyrics, then bookmark the lyrics search page on BobDylan.com.
The faculties of the Due Process Clause may be indefinite and vague, but the mode of their ascertainment is not self-willed. In each case "due process of law" requires an evaluation based on a disinterested inquiry pursued in the spirit of science, on a balanced order of facts exactly and fairly stated, on the detached consideration of conflicting claims, on a judgment not ad hoc and episodic but duly mindful of reconciling the needs both of continuity and of change in a progressive society.
Rochin v. California, 342 U.S. 165, 172 (1952) (Frankfurter, J.). If your reaction to this passage is, "Huh?", then you'll enjoy Bad Writing: Some Thoughts on the Abuse of Scholarly Rhetoric, by Jethro K. Lieberman. Don't get discouraged by the density of the first page; stay with it into Part II.
For more fun with postmodern gibberish, check out the Postmodernism Generator.
If you think you know etymology, then here's a challenge for you: Etymologic, which bills itself as "the toughest word game on the Web." Warning: it's not kind.