the (new) legal writer

Grammar Nazis

When you’re a grammar Nazi, you’d better not mix up your and you’re; otherwise something like this may happen. (Hat tip trail: GrammarBlog, via You Don’t Say.)

Put some rapping in your brief / And from the judgment get relief

A pro-se litigant appealing an attorney-fee award submitted a reply brief “utilizing rap/rhyme in the argument topics to better emphasize strong concept points.” It worked. According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, the appellate court reversed the attorney-fee award. To read the rhyming reply, click here. (Hat tip to Howard Bashman.)

Not in your Bluebook or ALWD

How do you cite restroom graffiti? Or a tattoo? Here’s how. (Hat tip: Southern Appeal.)

Rap duel translated into legal language

Courtesy of Feddie, here is a rap duel translated into Legal English.

The Chief channels Mickey Spillane

Pennsylvania v. Dunlap. The Supremes deny cert. The Chief dissents:

North Philly, May 4, 2001. Officer Sean Devlin, Narcotics Strike Force, was working the morning shift. Undercover surveillance. The neighborhood? Tough as a three-dollar steak. Devlin knew. Five years on the beat, nine months with the Strike Force. He’d made fifteen, twenty drug busts in the neighborhood.

Devlin spotted him: a lone man on the corner. Another approached. Quick exchange of words. Cash handed over; small objects handed back. Each man then quickly on his own way. Devlin knew the guy wasn’t buying bus tokens. He radioed a description and Officer Stein picked up thebuyer. Sure enough: three bags of crack in the guy’s pocket. Head downtown and book him. Just another day at the office.

Hat tipped to Craig Williams.

A nice use of the stress position

Roy Peter Clark has observed that children who write sometimes intuitively know how to use the stress position: the end of a sentence or paragraph. Case in point, spotted on Matthew Stibbe’s Bad Language:

Word Perhect

Here’s Word Perhect, an on-line word processor. It lets you compose a document on whatever’s handy  (e.g. a rumpled receipt, the back of an envelope, a piece of cardboard). It actually works, sort of — I just used it to print something on the back of a travel card. Give it a spin, and make sure to try out all the features. (Hat tip to Slaw.)

Golden Gobbledygook

Adam Freedman, proprietor of Party of the First Part, announces the first Golden Gobbledygook Award, for the worst example of legalese nominated. The winners won’t receive anything, but the people who nominate them will receive fabulous prizes. Nominations will be accepted until September 14, and the, uh, winners will be announced on September 21. For more information, click here.

The color purple

Who puts the purple in purple prose? Not Prince, but the winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. To read this year’s honorees, click here. (Hat tip to Legal Writing Prof Blog.)

“[A]nd we got this from the horse’s mouthpiece ...”

Matt Conigliaro recommends Judge Farmer’s second opinion in Funny Cide Ventures, L.L.C. v. Miami Herald Publishing Co., No. 4D06-2347 (May 16, 2007). After reading it, so do I. According to Judge Farmer, here’s what prompted it:

I should state publicly my own resolution, made several months ago. I had decided that the style of some opinions could—and should—be unconventionally changed for greater openness to all readers. I would try to write some opinions in styles and tones calculated to make legal reasoning clearer for those without law degrees. Then came this case.

p.s. (5/18/07): For interesting commentary on Judge Farmer’s opinion, visit The California Blog of Appeal.