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One (1) or more things not to do

In footnote 1 of this opinionJudge Alex Kozinski riffs on what does not help in brief writing:

We do not (except in the caption) follow the appellant’s counsel’s interesting practice of writing the names of the people involved in CAPITAL LETTERS. Neither do we follow the appellee’s counsel’s practice of writing appellant’s name in BOLD-FACED CAPITAL LETTERS. Nor do we intend to write all numbers both as text and numerals, as in “eleven (11) loose teeth, two (2) of which were shattered[;] [m]oreover, her jaw was broken in three (3) places.” Appellee’s Brief at 7. Finally, we will also not “set off important text” by putting it on “separate lines” and enclosing it in “quotation marks.”

See id. at 10. While we realize counsel had only our welfare in mind in engaging in these creative practices, we assure them that we would have paid no less attention to their briefs had they been more conventionally written.

Snarky, perhaps, but some people just have to be told.

(Hat tip to my friend and colleague Louis LaCour.)