Minor Wisdom

Horse: Maravich v. Paul

As far as I know, no one in the NBA ever beat Pete Maravich in a game of horse. But had they been contemporaries, Chris Paul might have (hat tip Adrastos):

Pistol Pete didn’t do anything quite that dramatic 30 years ago. But I’d enjoy seeing Chris Paul do what the Pistol does between 1:18 and 1:59.

Friedman’s fearless football forecast

Every year, die-hard Tulane fan Reuben Friedman forecasts Tulane’s football fortunes. No fan is as loyal to his team as Reuben is to the Green Wave. And few fans are as steeped in college football as Reuben is. So if you love the Green Wave, or if you just like college football in general, then you’ll enjoy reading Reuben’s 2009 Predictions.

Apparel for the LSU baseball fan

The LSU Tigers and Rice Owls are opponents in the College World Series Super-Regional playoff in Baton Rouge. LSU fans in attendance may covet this item from the Onion Boutique.

Of course, I would not wear such a thing; I’m more of a Tulane fan.

This season’s real NCAA football champion is ...

... Tulane? So says King Kaufman, applying irrefutable who-beat-whom logic:

The Green Wave went 2-10 this year, but they made those wins count. One of them was over Louisiana-Monroe, so I think you see my point.

No? OK: Tulane beat Louisiana-Monroe, who beat Troy, who beat Middle Tennessee, who beat Maryland, who beat Wake Forest, who beat Mississippi.

Aha! Mississippi!

What do you mean, so what? Ole Miss beat Florida. But that's not all. The Rebels also beat Texas Tech, who beat Texas, who beat Oklahoma.

There's a direct line of losing from both teams in the BCS Championship Game to Tulane. That's what makes Tulane, last seen losing 45-6 to Memphis, your 2008 national champion.

Hat tip to Prof. Alan Childress, Green Wave Law School.

Payton to Payton: I’ve got your kicker right here.

Sean Payton’s Hall-of-Fame namesake has the answer to the Saints’ kicking woes.

The worst injury is to his pride.

Believe it or not, I used to be a fan of professional wrestling. In the 1980s, Suzanne and I often bought tickets to the live wrestling shows at the Superdome, the Municipal Auditorium, or the UNO Lakefront Arena. We once met Arn Anderson and gave him a ride to the airport after a match with Dusty Rhodes.

Our favorite wrestler then, bar none, was the Nature Boy, Ric Flair. He was always the top dog, the jet-flying, styling, profiling, limousine-riding, kiss-stealing, wheeling-dealing son of a gun—the greatest pro wrestler who ever lived. A rich man’s Hulk Hogan.

So imagine my sigh when I read this AP story, saying that Nature Boy got himself beaten up by his daughter’s boyfriend. That will happen when you’re (yikes!) 59 and the boyfriend is 22. Time catches up to us all—even the Nature Boy.

Coin toss triggers existential angst

A hint to NFL general managers everywhere: don’t draft a philosophy major.

Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jacksonville Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life

Friedman’s fearless football forecast

In late August, Orleanians keep an eye out for hurricanes and their tidal surges. We also keep an eye out for Reuben Friedman’s annual in-depth predictions about the Tulane Green Wave’s football fortunes. Reuben knows a lot about college football, and his knowledge of Green Wave football lore is unexceeded. So if you like the Green Wave or college football generally, then you will enjoy reading Reuben’s predictions.

Click here to download Reuben’s predictions (MS Word format).

Pistol Pete

The Hornets are having a great season. But they have a marketing problem that no one in the NBA wants to talk about: they’re competing with the memory of Pete Maravich and the New Orleans Jazz. And fans with long memories who felt betrayed when the NBA allowed the Jazz to leave have cold feet when it comes to giving their hearts to another NBA team.

Be that as it may, this weekend the NBA All-Star Game tips off in New Orleans. To help you get in the mood — and to help you understand New Orleans’ love of the Jazz in the late 1970s — here’s a video of Pistol Pete versus Walt Frazier and the Knicks, scoring 68 points with no 3-point line. The game was played in the Superdome, which Jazz fans thought was a fine place to watch a basketball game.

In every game that Pistol Pete ever played, there was at least one moment where everyone watching gasped, “I don’t believe it.” In this video, that moment occurs between 3:47 and 3:50.

That was the entree. If you’re in the mood for dessert, watch this video of Pistol Pete versus the NBA in a game of HORSE. The “I don’t believe it” moment occurs between 1:30 and 1:59.

Archie Manning’s gonads elected to Hall of Fame

CANTON, OHIO. Former New Orleans Saints quarterback Archie Manning’s gonads were selected for enshrinement today in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. The Manning gonads will join defensive end Fred Dean, cornerback Darrell Green, wide receiver Art Monk, cornerback Emmitt Thomas, linebacker Andre Tippett, and tackle Gary Zimmerman as the Class of 2008 enshrinees.

On hearing the news, Manning said, “I’m just so proud of both of them.”

The news spread quickly through the French Quarter, where joyous crowds celebrating Mardi Gras were already feeling little pain. Up and down Bourbon Street was heard the chant, “Go nads go! Go nads go!”