Minor Wisdom

Another reason to hate this song

The Language Log asks whether this is the worst pun of all time. What say ye?

Diagramming Gov. Palin’s sentences

Usually I tackle English-language uses and abuses on my other blog. But I try to keep that blog non-partisan. So I’ll use this one to post a link to Diagramming Sarah, in which Kitty Burns Florey attempts to diagram some of Gov. Palin’s sentences. (Hat tip to my sister Wendy.)

“They all axed for you”

Why do New Orleanians sometimes pronounce ask as ax, as in the Meters’ song, They All Axed Fer You? The answer may surprise you. According to grammar maven Patricia O'Conner, the pronunciation dates back to the 8th century, when the predecessor of ask had two forms: ascian and acsian. In 1386, Chaucer wrote of “a man that ... cometh for to axe him of mercy.” And a 1536 translation of the Bible includes lines like “Axe and it shal be giuen you.” It was not until the 17th century that ask supplanted ax.

So if you say ax instead of ask, you’re just a stickler for tradition. Really old tradition.

Do dogs talk?

The subject of dog communication has come up on the Language Log yesterday and today. If you’re interested in the research, read the posts and follow the links.  On the other hand, if, like me, you’re too intellectually lazy to do that, then watch this video spotted a few days ago on Improbable Research.

Pilots and ushers

Matthew Stibbe reports that an airline in his neighborhood no longer calls a pilot a pilot. From now on, a pilot is a “flight service professional.”

At my church, an usher is not an usher, but a “hospitality minister.” If Edgar Allan Poe had been a parishioner, he might have written “The Fall of the House of the Hospitality Minister.” Somehow that doesn’t sound very scary.

Ax Stella

“The speech accent archive uniformly presents a large set of speech samples from a variety of language backgrounds [including New Orleans]. Native and non-native speakers of English read the same paragraph and are carefully transcribed. The archive is used by people who wish to compare and analyze the accents of different English speakers.”

Lies, damned lies, and statistics

Mark Twain once said, "Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable." On the Language Log, Mark Liberman proves Twain's point, showing that the same sets of numbers can be used to prove two propositions:

• Only 28% of those asked were able to name more than one of the First Amendment freedoms, yet 52% could name at least two members of Bart Simpson's family. (Americans know the Simpsons better than they know the Constitution.)
• 73% can name a First Amendment freedom, but only 65% can name a Simpson. (Americans know the Constitution better than they know the Simpsons.)

Evan Esar once defined statistics as "The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions." Yep.

2006 list of banished words

Once again, the folks at Lake Superior State University have performed the public service of identifying and banishing a slew of vogue words and phrases.¹ Work is already underway on the 2007 list, and you too can get in on the fun. To nominate a word or phrase for banishment, click here.

To view the 2004 list, click here; the 2005 list is here.
__________
¹Tip of the hat to Grammar Hell.

Says they

As I wrote a few weeks ago, use of masculine singular pronouns to refer generically to both sexes is not as acceptable as it used to be. Writers often struggle to avoid sexist-sounding language, while at the same time not appearing to try too hard to be politically correct. Their problem is that English lacks sexually generic third-person singular pronouns.

Or does it? Linguist Henry Churchyard says that, like you and your, the pronouns they, them, and their enjoy a venerable history of singular usage. He also gives 75 examples of "the singular their" in Jane Austen's writing, plus a slew of additional examples from other respected sources, including the OED, the King James Bible, and the writings of Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll, and other writers.

So it seems anyone who wants to make their writing non-sexist has an easy solution.

Plain English Campaign Awards

The Plain English Campaign has just presented its 2005 "awards for clear—and baffling—use of English." Under the "baffling" category, we find the Golden Bull Awards (for worst examples of gobbledygook) and the Foot in Mouth Award, for a truly baffling comment. Among the eight Golden Bull winners is this bit of Australian tax legislation:

For the purpose of making a declaration under this Subdivision, the Commissioner may:

a) treat a particular event that actually happened as not having happened; and
b) treat a particular event that did not actually happen as having happened and, if appropriate, treat the event as:

i) having happened at a particular time; and
ii) having involved particular action by a particular entity; and

c) treat a particular event that actually happened as:

i) having happened at a time different from the time it actually happened; or
ii) having involved particular action by a particular entity (whether or not the event actually involved any action by that entity).

I think they're trying to say, "In making a declaration, the Commissioner may disregard reality."

Under the "clear" category is the Plain English Web Award, given to the clearest web site that the judges could find. Among the criteria are good writing, clear design, and easy navigation. This year's winner is a legal web site, Advice Now, subtitled "Making sense of the law and your rights."