Retrospective

I thought it might be fun to look back at this year’s posts and highlight some of my favorites. I also thought that the exercise might give me a clue about exactly what the hell I’m doing with this blog (because frankly, I haven’t figured that out yet).

The award for best political post goes to The President’s pants, which featured a transcript of LBJ telephoning Joe Haggar to order some Haggar slacks. I like a president who carries cash and a pocket knife. I like a president who, asking for more room in the crotch, “down where your nuts hang,” suggests an extra inch of material “from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to.”

Speaking of pants, the award for best movie-related web sighting goes to the top 266 278 Star Wars lines improved by replacing a word with “pants.” The top vote-getter as of 12/29/07 at 4:00 p.m. is “I find your lack of pants disturbing.” LBJ’s favorite would probably be # 24: “I am altering the pants. Pray that I don’t alter them any further.”

Speaking of quotations, we must respect those who, facing death, manage to say something memorable. Men such as George Appel who, just before his electrocution, said, “Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel.” Or James French who, just before his electrocution, suggested, “How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries.” Or Thomas Grasso, who wanted the world to know that his last meal was unsatisfactory. “I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.”

Speaking of unsatisfactory dining experiences, the Kid from Brooklyn went to Starbucks in search of a cup of coffee and a slice of pound cake, and was displeased.

Speaking of coffee, this past Lent I thought I’d try drinking black coffee, giving up cafe au lait. It turned out to be a nice lenten observance. I’ll probably do it again in 2008.

Speaking of religious observances, I’m glad that my parish church hosted some musicians from Loyola University for a jazz mass. I just wish they hadn’t scheduled it for a day when the scripture reading promised woe to those who “[i]mprovis[e] to the music of the harp; like David, they devise their own accompaniment.”

Speaking of music, there was this piano-playing cat whose improvisation sounded like a Leonard Bernstein composition.

Speaking of animals taking up human pursuits, there was disturbing news about chimpanzees in Senegal who hunt with spears.

Speaking of which, who would think that Mexican fighting bulls are more genteel than spear-toting chimpanzees? I surely would not have — before seeing this video of bulls turned loose in a china shop.

Speaking of videos, I like this snippet from the Three Stooges’s Disorder in the Court. Since some people actually think of Minor Wisdom as a law-related blog, I thought at least one law-related post was in order disorder.

On the subject of videos, my favorite new feature here is Saturday-evening blues. It started by accident one Saturday last month, when I happened across a video of Junior Wells singing Hoodoo Man Blues, accompanied by Buddy Guy on guitar. I posted it, and since then have tried to post one blues musical video every Saturday afternoon. So far, we’ve seen Johnny Winter, Marcia Ball, Bob Dylan, the Black Keys, Dirty Mac (John Lennon, Eric Clapton, Keith Richards, and Mitch Mitchell), and Keb’ Mo’. In the pipeline: Susan Tedeschi, Johnny Lee Hooker, the Grateful Dead, Professor Longhair, Son House, Robert Johnson, and Gatemouth Brown.

Speaking of music, last March we uncovered a diabolical plot by my psychiatrist’s office to increase his business. They take patients who are already in a fragile mental state, make them sit in a waiting room, and force them to listen to soft rock. I myself on two consecutive visits was subjected to Don’t Go Breaking My Heart (by Elton John and Kiki Dee) and Careless Whisper (by Wham). Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Speaking of things psychological, undoubtedly the favorite post of Minor Wisdom’s readers was Right Brain, Left Brain, featuring a silhouette of a female figure spinning. Many readers commented that they cannot see her spinning in any direction but clockwise. Me, I cannot see her spinning in any direction but counterclockwise.

Speaking of brains, this year’s brainiest post was probably the Monty Hall paradox. Imagine you’re on Let’s Make a Deal, and you’re faced with three curtains. Behind one is a new car; behind the other two are goats. You choose curtain number 3. Monty Hall then opens curtain number 1, behind which is a goat. He then offers you a choice: stay with curtain number 3, or switch to curtain number 2. Can you improve your chances of winning by switching to curtain number 2? If you think not, read the post.

Speaking of mathematics, this post offered two ways to determine the value of pi. One involves masking tape and a frozen hot dog. The other involves Dr. Evil.

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So there you have it: a year’s worth of whatever it is I’m doing with this blog. Best wishes to everyone for the new year.