With news like this, who needs satirists?

According to the U.K.'s Sunday Times,"BAE SYSTEMS, one of the world’s biggest arms manufacturers, is designing a new generation of 'green' munitions, including 'lead-free' bullets and rockets with reduced toxins. It also wants to cut the dangerous compounds in its jets, fighting vehicles and artillery, which it warns 'can harm the environment and pose a risk to people'." The story quotes BAE's director of corporate responsibility, Dr. Strangelove Dr. Debbie Allen: "Weapons are going to be used and when they are, we try to make them as safe for the user as possible, to limit the collateral damage and to impact as little as possible on the environment."

Hat tip to Bad Language.