Minor Wisdom

Some cheese for the Hostilidays

I know that the old Batman TV show was on-purpose cheesy. But this is way past run-of-the-mill cheesy — we’re talking Limburger here.

I went in search of a Hostilidays video, but found this instead.

The Hostilidays have been strangely quiet. Must be El Niño. I went looking for something truly awful; instead I found this. It won’t send you off jimmying the gun cabinet open to blow your brains out. But I offer it here in the hope that it will offend someone. Anyone.

Tom Goldstein comes clean

At the recent DRI Appellate Seminar, Tom Goldstein spoke on how we, too, could become A-1 experts on Supreme Court practice. So imagine how shocked, SHOCKED I was to learn that Tom has been involved in some scandals. But in this video, Tom demonstrates why, in such unfortunate circumstances, coming clean is the best thing.

Freedom Highway by the Staples Singers

The Jim Morrison imitator was nice, but here’s some real soul for your Saturday-evening blues.

Mr. Mojo’s Christmas

What if those bluesy Doors did a Christmas medley? It might have turned out exactly like this, which I found on Toulouse Street.

A counter-intuitive video

Who can hit the same bullseye on the same target at the same distance more accurately: a world-class archer shooting arrows or an NFL quarterback throwing a football? The answer surprised me. But then considering the quarterback they used for this test, perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised. (Hat tip to a couple of friends and apologies to fans of other NFL teams.)

Fruitcake. Enough said.

This one has a flatulent dinosaur and a dog straining to pass a brick. Must have been something they ate.

Up on Cripple Creek

In a few days, I’ll be in Lake Charles, Louisiana, kibitzing at a trial. That impending road trip has me thinking of this song by The Band—although I doubt I’ll have as much fun in LC as Levon Helm did.

Lawrence Welk threesome

I’m still looking for this week’s edition of Saturday Evening Blues. Meanwhile, here’s a Hostilidays response to Adrastos, who posted a video of the Lawrence Welk Youth (yes, there was such a thing) under the fetching title Welking the Hostilidays. I thought that deserved a response, so I went out and found this item featuring Gail and Dale and Mary Lou. You may remember Gail Farrell and Dick Dale for somehow getting One Toke Over the Line past Lawrence Welk’s intake clerk. Here, they have a Holly Jolly Christmas with a third singer, Mary Lou Metzger. I’m sorry that this Hostilidays entry isn’t nearly as putrid as my prior two. I like it just because of the memory it triggers of “One Toke Over the Line.” And I’m pleased that, for some reason, Gail and Mary Lou decided to dress as monks—I suppose they did that as a favor for Dale.

If you think that age limits you, watch this.

My sister Wendy posted this on Facebook. I’m posting it here in case anyone out there feels too old to do something.

Why the Patriots game is important to the Saints

Everyone knows that tonight’s game with the Patriots is important to the Saints. Today I’ve been trying to figure out why. Objectively, it’s hardly the most important game in franchise history; any one of the Saints’ handful of playoff appearances has been more important. It won’t go as far in determining playoff seeding as any game against an NFC team. For playoff-seeding purposes, last week’s game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, an NFC and divisional foe, was more important.

Here’s why tonight’s game is so important. It’s something that champion wrestler Ric Flair often said: “To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man.” For the past decade, the Patriots have been The Man in the NFL, winning three Superbowls. The Saints aspire to be The Man, and so far this season, they’ve looked the part. But despite their 10-0 record, they have not yet beaten The Man. Tonight, they get that chance.

__________

p.s. At 10:55 p.m. CST, another Ric Flair catch phrase comes to mind: “Woooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

“Go tell it on the mountain”

I’ve been wavering on whether to deploy this one in the Hostilidays. It’s gotten enough views that some of you have probably seen it before. On the other hand, I don’t recall anyone’s deploying it before, so I suppose it’s fair game. And the performers, Henrietta and Merna, put this on TV, so I guess they want everyone to hear it. Okay, I’ll do my part.

How come my dog don’t bark when you come around?

My friend Dan Hull posted this video last weekend. It’s from a Dr. John performance at the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival. I think it’s from 2006; I don’t recall this particular song, but I do remember the decorations on the piano — especially the skull.

The Hostilidays start earlier every year.

It was still Thanksgiving when Adrastos fired the first shot in this year’s Hostilidays, the New Orleans bloggers’ annual competition to see who can post the most wretched holiday-season video. My own arsenal is barren. But with a good search engine and the right query, I managed to locate this example of televised child abuse. At 2:06, watch Cher make a baby cry. And doesn’t Chastity look like she’s having a ball.

What I've been working on lately

I don’t blog as much as I used to. Before February of this year, blogging was my only hobby. Now I have another: guitar. So now, a good bit of time I used to spend reading and writing blogs is instead spent on learning to play guitar.

One of my guitar goals for this year was to record a passable version of “Silent Night,” to upload to this year’s installment of our Christmas newsletter. “Silent Night” was originally written for guitar, and it’s a simple enough tune to make it a reachable goal. My excellent guitar teacher, Vincent, encouraged me to work on a slide version. With Vincent’s help, I worked up a minimalist arrangement (translation: simple enough for my meager talent). The thumb hammers the bass notes, which are played mostly on open A, low E, and D strings, except for one F# thrown in near the end. The fingers and the slide handle the melody.

So here it is. This is a home-made recording using my desktop computer. The guitar plugs into the compute through a Line 6 Guitar Port. The software comprises a virtual amplifier (Gear Box version 3.70.0) and mixer (Riff Works Line 6 edition 2.2.2), which I used to add a touch of reverb. I may do a few more takes of this before uploading to the Christmas newsletter, so please consider this a work in progress.

Silent Night take 4 mp3